I was diagnosed with HIV when I was 2 1/2. I pretty much knew about my status from my first memory where I wasn't allowed to play in the playground with other kids. My dad re-confirmed it when I was 5 and asked about why I had to take medicine. I didn't understand exactly what HIV was or what it meant, but I knew that I had it, that people were afraid of it and that I had to deal with it forever (which at the time I was 5 didn't seem very long as I didn't have a long life expectancy).
A few people knew about my status: family, close family friends, and teachers. When I was younger every time the school got a new nurse she'd send me home on suspicion of having the mumps as I had chronic swollen lymph nodes. A few times in my childhood one of my childhood friends - equally naive about HIV - would discover my status and the rumors would start up again but since it was true I guess they weren't exactly rumors. As I got older and started dating, I disclosed to my partners and close friends too.
It wasn't until I was 20 that I decided to be completely public and open about my status. One of my friends told me that I should stop being ashamed of it, it wasn't something I actively had a hand in and I couldn't change my status. I thought back to all the years I had been afraid to tell just because I was afraid of being an outcast or rejected by my peers. Since I "came out" about my status, I've met a lot of other people with HIV. All of us have different stories, all of us have different opinions. I've met a lot of supportive people, and had the opportunity to educate and change others perceptions. I have had very few negative experiences, and certainly not the widespread condemnation I was fearing.
Every one is different though. I don't pretend to know everyone's situation or set of circumstances. Disclosure is no small task. You're putting yourself out there to be judged and discriminated against. Often times you're someone's first experience dealing with HIV and you have to be prepared to handle fear and educate. It's a scary business. I know HIV positive people that have chosen not to date anyone who isn't also HIV positive because they don't want to risk rejection, have to deal with disclosing to someone that doesn't understand, or risk infecting someone accidentally. I know some that have just stopped dating. Others feel that if someone doesn't ask about their status they're not going to disclose - some use a condom every time others don't. Some feel that since their virus is controlled by medication and their viral load (measures how much virus is present in the body down to 40 copies / mL) is undetectable there is no significant risk of infection referring to the Swiss Study ("Swiss experts say individuals with undetectable viral load and no STI cannot transmit HIV during sex")
Personally for me I don't believe in non-consensual sex in any form. I feel that if you engage in sexual activity with someone and you know you have something that is potentially transmittable you need to have that conversation with your partner. As misguided as they may be, they may choose not to have sex with someone they know to be infected because they're afraid. That is their prerogative. They may have been sleeping their way unprotected around the club with anyone and everyone without using protection, without having "the talk" but that still doesn't make it okay to have sex without disclosing in my book. That is my opinion though, not everyone shares it but a lot do.
Regardless, no matter how much you love a person - if you choose to take that step and decide to have unprotected sex you should go and have a health screening together. Not only for HIV but there's also HPV, herpes, hepatitis A, B, C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and crabs / body lice. If someone tests positive for any of those things it's always better to know. You can take steps to keep the uninfected partner safe and get treatment to stay healthier.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
New Recommendation by American Academy of Pediatrics - sexually active teens should be screened for HIV
Today I came across the following article my friend linked to on facebook:
Group calls for HIV screening of teens who have sex
Basically it talks about the new policy statement released Monday by the American Academy of Pediatrics where in they recommend that all sexually active adolescents should be screened for HIV.
The statistic that half of all new infections in the US occur in individuals between 13 and 24 has been around for a long time. It's about time that the AAP made this recommendation. In the world we live in, in relation to HIV, being young, naive and fearless is a risk factor gay or not. How many of us made stupid decisions when we were younger? How many of us have ever had sex without a condom without a recent STD/STI screening from our partner? How many of us have failed to even ask about a partners sexual history as it relates to being tested? Someone somewhere answered yes to at least one of those questions and it doesn't make them a bad person. It just makes them part of the majority. A lot of those mistakes happened when we were under 24, a lot of them still happen when we're older. Some of those mistakes are made because we don't have the confidence, the dialogue and the tools to have those discussions. Add an undiagnosed HIV+ individual to the mix and it is easy to see how that statistic is possible.
Coming out publicly about my HIV status when I was 20 and working with organizations that deal with HIV positive individuals has allowed me to meet and talk with HIV positive people from a variety of different backgrounds and opinions. I need more than two hands to count how many people, like myself had HIV as a virgin or as a young adult. Some of those people had parents that chose not to tell them they were HIV+ until they were 16 and explained their medicine away as allergy meds. I've met a couple of people that just happened to have an HIV test as part of an extra credit assignment for class and one as part of being supportive to a friend who were shocked to find out they had HIV when they never had sex. In one case it led to a person's mother getting tested and finding out she was HIV+ as well. By no means am I trying to scare people, these cases are few and far between. I am just aware of their stories because they reached out to me because we share a virus. Eventually these people had sex or are going to have sex. In these cases they became aware of their diagnosis and are able to make informed decisions. In too many cases people remain naive to their HIV+ status.
This recommendation is a step in the right direction, and I hope that health professionals and parents take it to heart and make it a routine part of an annual checkup.
I welcome any and all thoughts related to this issue :)
Group calls for HIV screening of teens who have sex
Basically it talks about the new policy statement released Monday by the American Academy of Pediatrics where in they recommend that all sexually active adolescents should be screened for HIV.
The statistic that half of all new infections in the US occur in individuals between 13 and 24 has been around for a long time. It's about time that the AAP made this recommendation. In the world we live in, in relation to HIV, being young, naive and fearless is a risk factor gay or not. How many of us made stupid decisions when we were younger? How many of us have ever had sex without a condom without a recent STD/STI screening from our partner? How many of us have failed to even ask about a partners sexual history as it relates to being tested? Someone somewhere answered yes to at least one of those questions and it doesn't make them a bad person. It just makes them part of the majority. A lot of those mistakes happened when we were under 24, a lot of them still happen when we're older. Some of those mistakes are made because we don't have the confidence, the dialogue and the tools to have those discussions. Add an undiagnosed HIV+ individual to the mix and it is easy to see how that statistic is possible.
Coming out publicly about my HIV status when I was 20 and working with organizations that deal with HIV positive individuals has allowed me to meet and talk with HIV positive people from a variety of different backgrounds and opinions. I need more than two hands to count how many people, like myself had HIV as a virgin or as a young adult. Some of those people had parents that chose not to tell them they were HIV+ until they were 16 and explained their medicine away as allergy meds. I've met a couple of people that just happened to have an HIV test as part of an extra credit assignment for class and one as part of being supportive to a friend who were shocked to find out they had HIV when they never had sex. In one case it led to a person's mother getting tested and finding out she was HIV+ as well. By no means am I trying to scare people, these cases are few and far between. I am just aware of their stories because they reached out to me because we share a virus. Eventually these people had sex or are going to have sex. In these cases they became aware of their diagnosis and are able to make informed decisions. In too many cases people remain naive to their HIV+ status.
This recommendation is a step in the right direction, and I hope that health professionals and parents take it to heart and make it a routine part of an annual checkup.
I welcome any and all thoughts related to this issue :)
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