I was diagnosed with HIV when I was 2 1/2. I pretty much knew about my status from my first memory where I wasn't allowed to play in the playground with other kids. My dad re-confirmed it when I was 5 and asked about why I had to take medicine. I didn't understand exactly what HIV was or what it meant, but I knew that I had it, that people were afraid of it and that I had to deal with it forever (which at the time I was 5 didn't seem very long as I didn't have a long life expectancy).
A few people knew about my status: family, close family friends, and teachers. When I was younger every time the school got a new nurse she'd send me home on suspicion of having the mumps as I had chronic swollen lymph nodes. A few times in my childhood one of my childhood friends - equally naive about HIV - would discover my status and the rumors would start up again but since it was true I guess they weren't exactly rumors. As I got older and started dating, I disclosed to my partners and close friends too.
It wasn't until I was 20 that I decided to be completely public and open about my status. One of my friends told me that I should stop being ashamed of it, it wasn't something I actively had a hand in and I couldn't change my status. I thought back to all the years I had been afraid to tell just because I was afraid of being an outcast or rejected by my peers. Since I "came out" about my status, I've met a lot of other people with HIV. All of us have different stories, all of us have different opinions. I've met a lot of supportive people, and had the opportunity to educate and change others perceptions. I have had very few negative experiences, and certainly not the widespread condemnation I was fearing.
Every one is different though. I don't pretend to know everyone's situation or set of circumstances. Disclosure is no small task. You're putting yourself out there to be judged and discriminated against. Often times you're someone's first experience dealing with HIV and you have to be prepared to handle fear and educate. It's a scary business. I know HIV positive people that have chosen not to date anyone who isn't also HIV positive because they don't want to risk rejection, have to deal with disclosing to someone that doesn't understand, or risk infecting someone accidentally. I know some that have just stopped dating. Others feel that if someone doesn't ask about their status they're not going to disclose - some use a condom every time others don't. Some feel that since their virus is controlled by medication and their viral load (measures how much virus is present in the body down to 40 copies / mL) is undetectable there is no significant risk of infection referring to the Swiss Study ("Swiss experts say individuals with undetectable viral load and no STI cannot transmit HIV during sex")
Personally for me I don't believe in non-consensual sex in any form. I feel that if you engage in sexual activity with someone and you know you have something that is potentially transmittable you need to have that conversation with your partner. As misguided as they may be, they may choose not to have sex with someone they know to be infected because they're afraid. That is their prerogative. They may have been sleeping their way unprotected around the club with anyone and everyone without using protection, without having "the talk" but that still doesn't make it okay to have sex without disclosing in my book. That is my opinion though, not everyone shares it but a lot do.
Regardless, no matter how much you love a person - if you choose to take that step and decide to have unprotected sex you should go and have a health screening together. Not only for HIV but there's also HPV, herpes, hepatitis A, B, C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and crabs / body lice. If someone tests positive for any of those things it's always better to know. You can take steps to keep the uninfected partner safe and get treatment to stay healthier.
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